my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
