I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
