There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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