i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
