I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
