We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
