found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
