so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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