You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
