By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
