I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I am available for nakedness
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