It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
