Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize