Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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