I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
