she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just want to make out with him forever
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
