my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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