Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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