i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
