If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
