If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i dont even know how to be here
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
