Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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