I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
