margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
