Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
