I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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