You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
