I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
