haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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