Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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