Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
