So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
