Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
