I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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