Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
