STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
