He passed out mid-signature
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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