So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
