Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
