I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
