Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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