This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
