What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
