i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
