There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
