super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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