There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
