My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
