32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
