i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
