I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize