Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
