I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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