dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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