Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
