I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
