It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
