You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize