We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
