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Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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