Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize