i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
