Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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