he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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