i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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