i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
