After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
